


Cagney’s Perfect Plan

by LetsGoKazeo



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Cagney And Hilda Are Exes, Cagney is awful at flirting, Cheese, F/M, Foreign Language, Gen, Goopy is just kind of there for the most part, Humor, I slapped my old OC in this cause I could, cartoon logic, let the rats have their cheese, lots of cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 21:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetsGoKazeo/pseuds/LetsGoKazeo
Summary: Cagney has the perfect plan to win Hilda’s heart back.Just a silly fic I wrote because I had nothing else to do today.(Updated 11/6/19 with translations for the German dialog!)
Relationships: Hilda Berg & Cagney Carnation (Cuphead), Werner Werman/OC (Cuphead)
Kudos: 2





	Cagney’s Perfect Plan

“So here’s my plan,” said Cagney to Goopy. “I’m gonna dig a hole outside Hilda’s front door, name it Love, and when she opens the door I’ll jump in.”

“Why?”

“So Hilda will fall in Love with me.”

Goopy facepalmed. “That’s stupid.”

“Hey, it’s not stupid if it works.”  Cagney had his blueprint laid out. All it was was a crudely drawn sketch of him and Hilda falling into a hole. “Shh! Hilda’s coming!”

She opened her door. At that moment, expecting her to fall in, Cagney jumped in. “Whee!”

All she did was stand and stare, much to Cagney’s dismay.

“Dang it... hey, could you help me out of here?”

“Seriously, dude?” She turned her back. “Whatever this is, I’m not falling for it. Pun intended.”

“I’ve got you covered.” Goopy reached out and pulled the flower up.

“Thanks, pal.”

“No prob. I’m fried, let’s go grab a drink.”

“Finally, he’s gone.” Hilda resumed business as usual, closing her door. “I swear, his ways of flirting have gotten strange...”

Meanwhile, two rats were on their way to see Hilda: Werner Werman and his new friend Winnipeg, a pretty gray female rat. They were too focused on their conversation to notice the big hole up ahead of them.

“Also, wie ich schon sagte über Mugman...” _(Translation: “So, as I said about Mugman...”)_

It was then that Winnipeg noticed. “Werner—!”

It was too late as he tripped and fell into the hole. “GYAAAAAH!”

“Mein Gott!” _(Translation: “My God!”)_

“Winnipeg?! Was ist das!?” _(Translation: “Winnipeg?! What is this!?”)_

She looked down into the hole. “Ich weiß nicht... Werner, bist du okay? _(Translation: “I don’t know... Werner, are you okay?”)_

“Ja. Hilfe bitte?” _(Translation: “Yes. Help please?”)_

“Na klar.” _(Translation: “Of course.”)_ Winnipeg reached a hand down into the hole, only to lose her footing and tumble right in with him. “Oh... entschuldigung.” _(Translation: “Oh. Sorry.”)_

So while Cagney and Hilda didn’t fall in Love that day, another (un)lucky couple did...


End file.
